Divorce and cheating: Is it what you really want?
Every couple is different and nowadays it is very common to fall out-of-love with your spouse. Instead of working on our relationships and maintaining our happiness and joy, a lot of married couples expect to be content all of the time, and then falter when they start to feel like life isn’t what they thought it would be. Finding out that your wife or husband has been cheating on you is enough to make you want to hide in a dark room forever, but eventually you need to face the real world and make a decision. Choosing between divorce and forgiveness really isn’t that great of a choice, especially when your partner has been cheating on you for years behind your back, but claims they still love you. When I had to choose whether or not I wanted a divorce, what helped me make my decision was realising I wasn’t happy in my marriage — I had just gotten used to it. Even though I chose to get a divorce, I made sure to forgive my partner so that we could both move on properly.
How to get divorced — The right way
When you first agree to getting a divorce, you silently wish that they had taught you how to get a divorce in high school or college, but since they didn’t, I called a friend who had recently went through the same thing and asked for his advice. He kept telling me that we were so lucky we didn’t have children and that everything would be over soon enough. He gave me his lawyer’s number, I called him up, met him for a coffee in Christchurch, where he taught me how to get divorced the right way.
Cheating and divorce: Are you still in love?
When dealing with a cheating spouse, it is important to know that you usually have two options: forgiveness or divorce — both are hard but will be worth it in the long run. In my case, I was still in love with my partner but couldn’t forgive them to the point where I would want to continue our relationship, so I only forgave them for their actions. Being in love with the person you married is only normal, but when you find out that they’re cheating on you, the love you felt gets tainted.
Forgiveness after cheating: Can it be done?
Forgiveness after cheating can definitely be done, and I know this because my sister’s husband cheated on her over 5 years ago and they are still happily married. I guess it helped that he only cheated once and told her about it immediately after, but still. Forgiveness after cheating isn’t for everyone, especially not if you’re feeling angry and resentful, however, if you’re still in love and both want to work it out, there are no reasons why you shouldn’t be able to. For more information on how to forgive a cheating partner, read our guide on the subject.
Divorce and infidelity: The last straw
I think that most people want to forgive their cheating spouses but are too afraid to get cheated on again. Since being cheated on by the one you love is a pain like no other, thinking about experiencing the same pain again turns a lot of people away from forgiveness. Getting a divorce after infidelity has occurred is sometimes crucial to the development of both parties.